All I’m afraid of, is you
by siri holm
Summary: Ginny looked down at her bruised wrists, they were full of scars, before se looked over at the blond hair boy next to her. short story, pre HBP. please R&R new version posted
1. new version

A/N: this version is a bit changed from the first, hopefully a bit better and not that many errors. Hope you like it, R&R

Ginny looked down at her bruised wrists, they were full of scars, before she looked over at the blonde haired boy next to her. There was nothing safe about him, but still she felt safe with him. Safer than she had done with any other boy, even safer then she had done with Harry. She kissed his neck before she got up. He gripped her wrist and pulled her half way down to him. He had the softest hands in the world, she would never have thought the Dark Mark and so soft hands would ever match. His touch was always as soft as his hands.

"Leaving me?" His steel-grey eyes were fixed at hers.

"Yes, it is early." She watched him as he traced the cuts on her over arm.

"Stay, just a bit longer." He really wanted her to stay, in the beginning she thought it was just something he said but now she knew he meant it. She kissed him gently.

"No, it's time for me to go." He could see the hurt in her eyes.

"Afraid what Potter might say?" She looked away from him. He had to bring up Harry, it hurt her and it hurt him but he just had to bring it up. Bloody masochist.

"I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of anything." She leaned down to kiss him, and bit his lip in the kiss.

"You have to stop that." He mumbled. It wasn't like she did it on purpose, it just happened.

"Sorry, just a bad habit." She smiled, he knew she wasn't trying to quit her habit. She had learned that early, somewhere around her first relationship, if it really was a relationship.

"Like this?" He pressed his finger down on one of her scars. "Is that also just a bad habit?"

"A bad habit, I have quit." She wasn't sure if he believed her, or not. She wasn't sure herself, but she thought so, for today at least.

"I hope you have." He kissed her wrist. "Do you want to live?" she smiled at him, carefully.

"Do you doubt me?" Their eyes met.

"Do I doubt you miss double life? Have you seen your body?" He knew what he had said had sounded stupid after he had said it.

"I have, and I think you have to?" He pulled her down into a kiss, he bit her tongue as it slid into his mouth. "Don't do that you remind me of someone else."

"I won't do it again, and when your scars fade, I will believe that you have quit." He knew she freaked every time he reminded her of somebody else, but then there were so many he could remind her of.

"You won't believe me, you are afraid of me." He smirked at her words; she was right.

"I have been a killer, and you think I'm afraid of you?" He tried to sound cold, but it was impossible. He had almost killed her once, but then again she had almost killed herself to. She was glad she hadn't.

"You didn't kill me…" she said as she dropped in to bed. She was starting to wonder were this conversation was going.

"Well, you were doing a pretty good job yourself." He was right, she had been a mess when they 'met', mush worse then now.

"How many do you have to save before you have made up for a killing?" He wasn't sure if she was talking about him or herself.

"I just had to save you, and I think that is all you have to do to." He was lost in her, playing spy at school and truly being with her at the same time, it would get him killed someday. She smiled at him.

"So you think you have saved me?" Her question was one he had asked him self often lately. He ran his hand over her stomach, feeling the scar of a knife that was far from her own. A scar maid by Voldemort's hand not meant to kill her, but to put her in her place. "Don't you think my dark powers are just under the surface ready to tell Voldemort what you have been doing?" He could feel she was cold, not only mentally but her body temperature dropped too.

"The punishment would be just as hard if you told Potter. You are holding my life in your hand, and you can kill me at any moment. You can kill me yourself, Potter might kill me or a Death eater could do it." Just the thought of killing him was enough to make her feel sick. She crept closer to him.

"No one will kill you." He knew her words meant she would protect his secret.

"If someone does," he paused and looked inn to her eyes, he could see she was scared of what he was going to say. "I hope it will be you." She bit her lip she knew all to well he meant it seriously.

"Why? So I can kill my self too?" it wasn't a question, she was telling him what would happen if she killed him.

"No, but if you ever let Voldemort know I would like you to be the one to kill me. It will be easier for me that way." She swallowed, and knew he was truthful.

"I won't tell him, I won't fall that way." She didn't want to fall that way; she was stronger than the powers in her. Voldemort had given her the powers of the heir of Slytherin, but she was still a Gryffindor.

"I know you won't." He didn't know, they both knew he didn't, but still he said it hoping he was right.

"No, you don't." She didn't see any reason to let him lie like that. He looked over at his watch. She bit her lip again, he didn't like it when she did that. She could bite it until it bled, and she had done it before.

"It's early, you should get back." He almost whispered. She smiled, a hart felt smile.

"I tried to tell you." She got up, half hoping he would stop her.

"Well, I got you to stay a little longer. And I did keep you away from Potter for another five minutes." He watched her as she got dressed.

"I don't get into Harry's bed when I leave you in the morning, don't ever believe that." She knew he had problems with Harry, the fact that she generally spent more time with Harry then with him obviously hurt him.

"I don't" She knew he was lying. She got down on her knees next to the bed; he rolled over to face her.

"We'll meet soon right?" Her eyes were almost pleading, and so was her voice.

"I'm the one coming on you every request; you are the one with all the difficult people in your life." She laughed softly and kissed him.

"Then it will be soon." He took her wrist and kissed it.

"I'll miss you Gin." He knew she didn't like telling anyone how she felt about anything, but he knew how she felt. She kissed him on the cheek, before she walked over to the door.

"Draco, I'll be back soon." She slid out the door before he could answer. She looked as a shadow mowing through the dungeon towards her dorm. Silently closing the door to her own dorm, realising she had wanted to stay with Draco until the real morning began. Wanting to stay with someone like that was new, different, but then everything about Draco was different. She found a dagger under her madras. She was shaking as it touched her skin, it barely left a mark. She pressed the flat side of the dagger in to her arm, she had quit, she had told Draco she had quit and she would. If she wouldn't do it for herself she would do it for him. She got out of bed and opened the window; she found a crack in the stones beneath the window and hid the knife there. Far enough to take away the impulse but not gone forever. She got back into bed, she needed the little sleep she could get. As she pulled the covers around her self she whispered to her self, knowing far too well he didn't hear her "I'll miss you too Draco."


	2. original

All I'm afraid of, is you

_A/N: half a request, half a whim, but here it is; my Draco/Ginny angst story (probably not the last). Hope you like it, please review. _

Ginny looked down at her bruised wrists, they were full of scars, before she looked over at the blonde haired boy next to her. There was nothing safe about him, but still she felt safe with him. More safe than she had done with any other boy, even more safe then she had done with Harry. She kissed his neck before she got up, he gripped her wrist and pulled her half way down to him. He had the softest hands in the world, she would never have thought the Dark Mark and so soft hands would ever match. His touch was always as soft as his hands.

"Leaving me?" his steel-grey eyes were fixed at hers.

"Yes, it is early." He traced the cuts on her over arm.

"Stay, just a bit more." She kissed him gently.

"No, it's time." He could see the hurt in her eyes.

"Afraid what Potter might say?" She looked away from him.

"I'm not afraid, I'm not afraid of anything." She leaned down to kiss him, and bit his lip in the kiss.

"You have to stop that." He mumbled.

"Sorry, just a bad habit." She smiled, he knew she wasn't trying to quit her habit. She had learned it early, somewhere around her first relationship if that was what it was.

"Like this?" He pressed his finger down on one of her scars. "Is that also just a bad habit?"

"A bad habit, I have quit." She wasn't sure if he believed her, or not. She wasn't sure herself, but she thought so.

"I hope you have." He kissed her wrist. "Do you want to live?" she smiled at him, carefully.

"Do you doubt me?" Their eyes met.

"Do I doubt you miss double life? Have you seen your body?" He knew what he had said had sounded stupid after he had said it.

"I have, and I think you have to?" He pulled her down into a kiss, he bit her tongue as it slid into his mouth. "Don't do that you remind me of someone else."

"I will, and when your newest scars fade, I will believe you." He knew she freaked every time he reminded her of somebody else, but then there were so many he could remind her of.

"You won't believe me, you are afraid of me." He smirked at her words; she was right.

"I have been a killer and you think I'm afraid of you?" She had almost killed him once, but then again she had almost killed herself to. She was glad she hadn't.

"You didn't kill me…" She dropped down next to him.

"Well, you were doing a pretty good job yourself."

"How many do you have to save before you have made up for a killing?" He wasn't sure if she was talking about him or herself.

"I just had to save you, and I think that is all you have to do to." He was lost in her, playing spy at school and truly being with her at the same time, it would get him killed someday.

"So you think you have saved me?" he ran his hand over her stomach, feeling the scar of a knife that was far from her own. A scar maid by Voldemort's hand not meant to kill her, but to put her in her place. "Don't you think my dark powers are just under the surface ready to tell Voldemort what you have been doing?" He could feel she was cold, not only mentally but her body temperature dropped too.

"The punishment would be just as hard if you told Potter. You are holding my life in your hand, and you can kill me at any moment. You can kill me yourself, Potter might kill me or a Death eater could do it." She crept closer to him.

"Noone will kill you." He knew her words meant she would protect his secret.

"If someone does," he paused and looked inn to her eyes, he could see she was scared of what he was going to say. "I hope it will be you." She bit her lip she knew all to well he meant it seriously.

"Why? So I can kill my self too?" it wasn't a question, she was telling him what would happen if she killed him.

"No, but if you ever let Voldemort know I would like you to be the one to kill me. It will be easier for me that way." She swallowed, and knew he was truthful.

"I won't fall that way." She didn't want to fall that way; she was stronger than the powers in her. Voldemort had given her the powers of the heir of Slytherin, but she was still a Gryffindor.

"I know you won't." He didn't know, they both knew he didn't, but still he said it hoping he was right.

"No, you don't." he looked over at his watch. She bit her lip again, he didn't like it when she did that. She could bite it until it bled, and she had done it before.

"It's early, you should get back." She smiled, a hart felt smile.

"I tried to tell you." She got up, half hoping he would stop her.

"Well, I got you to stay a little longer. And I did keep you away from Potter for another five minutes." He watched her as she got dressed.

"I don't get into Harry's bed when I leave you in the morning, don't ever believe that."

"I don't" She knew he was lying. She got down next to the bed; he rolled over to face her.

"We'll meet soon right?"

"I'm the one coming on you every request; you are the one with all the difficult people around." She laughed softly and kissed him.

"Then it will be soon." He took her wrist and kissed it.

"I'll miss you Gin." He knew she didn't like telling anyone how she felt about anything, but he knew how she felt. She kissed him on the cheek, before she walked over to the door.

"Draco, I'll be back soon." She slid out the door before he could answer. She looked as a shadow mowing through the dungeon towards her dorm. Silently closing the door to her own dorm, realising she had wanted to stay with Draco until the real morning began. She found a dagger under her madras. She was shaking as it barely touched her skin, it didn't make a mark. She pressed the flat side of the dagger in to her arm, she had quit, she had told Draco she had quit and she would. If she wouldn't do it for herself she would do it for him. She got out of bed and opened the window; she found a crack in the stones beneath the window and hid the knife there. Far enough to take away the impulse but not gone forever. She got back into bed, she needed the little sleep she could get. As she pulled the covers around her self she whispered to her self knowing far too well he didn't hear her "I'll miss you too Draco."

_A/N: What do you think? Please tell me, send me an e-mail or review. _

_And I'm not suicidal just so you know._


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